Anything and everything that “built character”
my siblings and I convinced ourselves that it was something we needed to do. My
parents would use this phrase often to get us to do chores or tasks that were
not always the most fun. Adding the phrase “it builds character” to
tasks is the equivalent to saying “do this and you’ll get a surprise”
or in our case “do this and mom and dad won’t beat you”. 

Let me be clear. We thought it was all bullshit, but we
still did it. We just needed to feel like we were getting something out of the
chore. Kind of like when the car dealership gives you free oil changes for 2
years. “You just spent $30,000 with us so here’s a few oil changes”.
You walk away feeling like you beat them and got the better end of the deal. We
knew we were not going to get paid or awarded ice cream for doing the
assignment, but it’s always nice to feel like you’re going to get something out
of it-regardless if you actually do. In hindsight, these chores gave us tons of
stories. When it comes to my brothers Michael and Jimmy, all I got left is
stories.

Most of you reading this have probably never rotated a
pile of wood in order to age the stack evenly. Let me guess, you have no clue
what I am saying right?  It’s when you
have a long and tall pile of firewood and you take the wood on the bottom and
put it on top and then take the wood on the top and put it on the bottom. This
way, the pile ages and dries evenly. Not too dry and not too green when it
burns. For my dad, who often referred to himself as his comic book avenger name
“Captain Furnace” (he made us do this as well), this was important in
the house heating process. Too much of each, dry or green, can eventually cause
issues with your furnace. I’m guessing you never had to do this?  I’m betting that it’s not that important in
the grand scheme of things, but again, it built character and if it did that,
then it must be done! 

Michael and I would tackle this task the best way we knew
how-we made a game out of it. Since we didn’t own a wheelbarrow with an
inflated wheel, we would have to move this wood from one fence line to the
other by hand. The fences were about 40 yards from one another, so the process
went like this-take the wood from the top of one stack and put it on the bottom
of the newly created stack. You could always load your own arms up with wood
and carry your logs from pile to pile or you could make a game out of it and
that’s just what we did.

While one kid had his arms out, the other would stack log
after log into the cradle of the extended arms till the other kid started to
buckle and then you loaded two more really fast, just to push the “human
wheelbarrow” a little farther. The goal was to move as quickly as you
could, from stack to stack, before the load would fall out of your arms. Often,
like a Seeing Eye dog, we would have to guide each other during the 40 yard
trip because the stack was above the level of your head. This “game”
was a lot easier in the cold weather as warmer weather meant fire ant season.
Nothing made you move faster than realizing you had an armload of ants.

No matter how strong I got, Michael could always lift
more logs. Yes, he was older and bigger than me, but that’s not why he could
carry more wood. Michael had a “super power” that many never knew
about.  As adults, we both grew to be
about 5’9″, but if you measured him from middle finger tip to middle
finger tip, arms stretched out, Michael was 6’3″. He was a human monkey!
When it comes to boxing and carrying wood, both things he was better than me
at, this length is very important. It also helped him hold things over our
heads when he was being a jerk. (C’mon Patty! 
Can’t you reach it?).

Season after season we would rotate the pile so that we
would be ready for a potential long winter. Yes, I grew up in Texas, so the
amount of wood burned by “Captain Furnace” was not close to what
people do in northern Michigan, but this was the only fuel we had when it came
to heating our house for the winter.

How many things do you do each day that “build
character”?  As adults are we still
building character or do we feel, as a reward for surviving childhood, we have
paid all the appropriate dues?  I am not
trying to be the old man shaking his fist at the young kids running on the lawn
or going too fast through the neighborhood, but are the kids these days getting
the opportunities to build character? 
Are we pushing them in a way to make them stronger mentally and
physically?  Are we asking them to
#Tryharder? Are we providing bonding opportunities that require them to come up
with a creative way of making the time go by as a team (while still
accomplishing the task)? Are we giving our kids or the next generation a pass
because we are wanting them to have it better, but robbing them of the
knowledge and experience that comes with the journey?  I know, a lot of questions to consider.

Although we knew our parents were using “builds
character” to get us to feel like we were gaining something in exchange
for accomplishing these tasks, we did put forth the effort to attack the chore.  We knew we were building something, but maybe
didn’t quite yet have the maturity to actualize what that exactly was yet.
Other phrases like “it will put hair on your chest” would probably
accomplish the same thing, because what young boys don’t want hair on their
chest?  Yet, my parents were wise enough
to know that a hairy chest would not have motivated my sister the same way.
This was very forward thinking of them don’t you think? 

Again, not to sound like an old man, but often kids and
the early millennials today want to see the benefit or reward before they even
start the task. They want to be assured that they are not being
“tricked” into knowledge and want a copy of the test before they
start to study. “Tell ya what, gimme the Cliff notes and maybe I’ll read
the book”.  They want to learn, but
they want a guarantee.  In some ways they
are wiser than us, but I think for the most part they might be missing the
whole point. 

Trust me, there are times I wish I knew the life lesson
before I was forced to experience the journey. Honestly, what’s the fun in that?  You have to actually stack the
logs before you learn how many you can carry. You have to experience the
“load” of life before you learn how much you can take.