A while back a friend of mine, who just got married at 30 but did not have children, asked me a series of interesting questions about fatherhood. She just shot them at me in rapid fire fashion and I answered them as best and as honest as I could.

“Do you ever regret having kids”?

It’s an honest and fair question from someone who has never had children. There is a curiosity, with people who don’t have kids, as to how much you are potentially missing out on in life when you choose to spend your weekends at jump castle birthday parties or t-ball games and not vacationing with friends or going to parties with other non-children having couples. It’s a selfish based curiosity, but certainly a very honest question and I don’t blame her for asking. It’s a question almost every person asks themselves before jumping into the baby making club.

I don’t regret one thing about making the decision to become a parent. I don’t miss one moment of “just the two of us” or my single days and would trade many of those days in for more days of being a dad. I have the ability to see the same thing, multiple ways, and it’s amazing! First, with my own eyes and then through the eyes of my children. Need an example? Watch parents at Disney or during a fireworks show. I spend more time looking at the faces of my children than I do with what’s happening in front of me. The glow on their cheeks and the size and light of their eyes is more spectacular than any moment you will consume firsthand.

“Is parenting something that came easily for you”?

Without a doubt, being a dad is something I think I was born to do. If I accomplish nothing else in life, I can die a happy man knowing that I helped to create two wonderful and beautiful human beings. No amount of money, awards, praise or accomplishment comes anywhere close to the title of “Daddy”. Every decision I make or action I take is connected to my children. Providing for my little people physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually is what I was placed on this earth to do and I love every second of it. Becoming a father has been my calling and I have embraced it wholeheartedly.

“You have two kids. Who’s your favorite? And I want a real answer, Chase”.

The response to this question started with a deep breath and a pause from me. The natural answer is to say “I love them equally, but differently”, but that’s not what she wanted to hear. So here’s my answer…

Honestly, it depends on the day.

I love my kids to the moon and back and would do anything and everything for them within my power. I would give each of them my dying breath if I knew it would give them more time on this earth. I could never love them enough! Yet, when it comes to the question, it depends on the day and the moment. Like any relationships in life, there are times when you are on the same wavelength with a particular person and you are just clicking. Sometimes it’s your spouse and other times it could be a sibling or a best friend. Sometimes my daughter and I are connecting on an amazing level and sometimes my son and I are deeply bonding. There are times when it just depends on the needs of the child. Little girls often need mommy more than daddy and sometimes little boys need daddy over mommy. As we become adults, we realize that still holds true, as there are some things you are more comfortable talking about with one parent over the other.

I am sure your parents felt the same way about picking a favorite and if you are not a parent yourself, then you may not be able to relate. Just imagine trying to take a phone call and having two different kids ask you the same question, over and over again, until they get the answer they want or you scream your head off till they stop. Or trying to have a conversation with your wife as the word “poop” gets louder with every laugh from the backseat; and each kid trying to say it louder than the last time you heard it. The loudest of the “poop shouters” is your least favorite at that moment.

I gave an honest answer to a tough question. Parents with more than one kid, that are reading this offering, will most likely agree with this answer. It depends on the day, but I would give my life for either one of them and do so without hesitation. As far as a favorite, it just depends on the day and sometimes the minute.

I know why she asked these questions. When you start the process of “adulting”, you start to wonder if you are capable of handling some of the things life throws at you. She, after spending her 20s being single, dating and then engaged, starting to wonder what kind of person she was going to become in her 30s. Was she cut out for marriage or even parenthood as she probably convinced herself in her teens and 20s that these things would never happen for her? There are girls that I dated in college who are probably surprised that I am a father or that I have been married for 16+ years! As we all grow older, we start to question our former, current and future selves. It was just Christal and me in my 20s and then we became a family of four in my 30s. Who knows what the future has in store for us over the next few decades, but I am excited to grow into the man I will be expected to be moving forward.

#Tryharder to accept the fact that the person you are today will be different than the person you are tomorrow. Welcome the change that marriage, kids or any of the other #adulting things life throws at you and have the confidence in yourself that you will be up for the task that presents itself. You will grow to appreciate the foolishness of your previous self and hopefully utilize those life lessons moving forward. You are capable, so stop fighting the change or holding onto beliefs that your former self convinced you were absolutes. Enjoy what’s happening now, but know that seeing it again through older eyes or even the eyes of your child, is an amazing thing.