A few months ago I was going though a rough patch. Nothing like a midlife crisis or anything, but more like a drain of emotions and energy. A bump in the road, more or less. (Perhaps it might be the male equivalent to “my time of the month”, because I just read online that this was a “thing”). I didn’t really know it at the time, but I was in need of some guidance. Someone to connect the dots a bit and get me from point A (the slump I was in) to point B (the other side).
The words that I needed to hear came in the form of a 90 minute phone call from a very good friend of mine. After a few weeks of phone tag, we were finally able to set aside some time to connect. What started out as a casual conversation about work and a few random things turned into a deep discussion about life and what it’s like to be “us”, as we both have a lot in common despite being more than 10 years apart. I won’t share with you exactly what he said to me, but I will tell you that he gave me the inspiration for this blog and the reason why everyone needs a what he referred to as a “guardian angel”.
A guardian angel is someone who looks out for you, keeps an eye on you and lifts you up emotionally when you’ve hit a wall or you feel your emotional tank is on empty. This person could be your wingman in relationships or a work partner that has your back and talks you up to others. This person can also be a mentor. No matter how secure you are emotionally or how high you are on the career ladder, we all need someone to check in on us or a person to bounce things off of.
Even if you already know what you should be doing or how to get past this slump you are in, it’s helpful to get confirmation from someone else. Even if your issues or concerns are pretty lame; you can’t have a true pity party by yourself because a party needs at least two participants. And sometimes a lot of beer…
If you are reading this and thinking that you cannot relate, then you are lying to yourself. As someone who writes “self-help” books, I still need help. Because I do a solid job of “fixing” my own issues, I don’t always do a good job of reaching out and asking for input. I tend to deflect and spin things so that others aren’t forced to get pulled into any issues I might be having. I don’t do it on purpose, but I’ve been doing it without thinking for years. Not sure if this is a character flaw or part of the “charm” that is me. Maybe both?
You need a sounding board. Someone that has either gone through a similar tough patch or is just emotionally intelligent enough to say the right thing at the right time. Sometimes the right words just happen to fall out of the mouth of the right person. Some people may just need a kind word or two, whereas others might need a kick in the ass or a shove in the right direction. Regardless the method, we need to be aware that sometimes we just need help from someone else…and that’s ok. The Beatles wrote a few songs about it. “Help” and “With a little help from my friends”…
There are moments in your life where you may just have to lean on someone else for support (even if it’s just for a few minutes) just long enough to get your faculties about you. Like a boxer that needs to take a standing 8 count to regain his legs and recover, sometimes all we need is a change in perspective or a moment to catch our breath in the marathon of life.
#Tryharder to identify the times in life where you need to seek out help and allow others to help you with what you are struggling with. Also, don’t pass on the moments when you should be reaching out or offering to help others. We should all be willing to be a guardian angel for someone else and learn from our slumps and rough patches so we can better guide our friends and family through those times. Just try to maintain some sense of balance in all of this, as none of us should ever become an energy drain or time bandit to those who care enough to ask if we are doing ok.
