Sometimes the thing that makes you memorable is the thing you least expect or embrace.

A close friend of mine is a working actress in NYC. She’s been in a ton of stuff that most of us have never seen and spends her days working on her craft and auditioning for parts. She makes a living in the largest market doing the thing she went to school to become. By career definition and accomplishments, she is an actress. She is very successful, but not a household name. Yet.

She also enjoys Argentine Tango.

I have known this woman for about 20 years and I have never had one conversation with her about Argentine Tango. I am confident that the only conversation she and I have ever had about dancing was back when we went to college together and it was probably me asking her if she wanted to two step or something. That’s the kind of dancing you did in west Texas, which is where we both went to college. (I’m pretty sure she said “yes” and then criticized my technique the whole time).

When I texted my friend that I was planning on doing a blog about Argentine Tango, her response was “what do you know about Argentine Tango”. My response was “Nothing. That’s exactly why I’m writing about it”.

Actors have a one sheet, traditionally accompanied with a headshot that says who they are what they have done. Most of us have a similar resume, but we don’t have to always submit a picture or have a certain “look” in order to work in the mail room. Where we have to list things like “Microsoft word” or “expert in Power Point”, actors get to list things like “able to juggle flaming bowling pins” or in my friend’s case, “Trained in Argentine Tango”.

More often than you would ever expect, people seem to be drawn to ask questions about this line on her resume. Maybe they are dancers as well or they are curious about the style of dance, but it comes up and works as a great ice breaker for her to create a deeper connection with these directors and agents. Taking lessons for years, at $15 a week, has helped to open many doors of communication and has been a cheaper investment than a masters in acting. It is also something she enjoys and gives balance to her career focused life.

After hearing her talk about her love for Argentine Tango on a podcast, I passively spent the next few days looking at images and reading articles on techniques and the names of positions for the style of dance. I have no intention of taking on this hobby, but my love for my friend made me curious. To have known someone for as long as we’ve known each other and to never have a conversation about it is a funny thing to me. Maybe we have and I just don’t remember? Maybe I am a terrible friend with a terrible memory? Haha.

Then again, there are probably things that I enjoy that she doesn’t know about. You may share a lot with the people in your life, but each and every one of us has a “thing” that we keep private or just don’t share (This is not where I come out and expose my love for gangsta polka music).

Some things in life just need to be private. It’s important to have things that you love or enjoy that are just for you and maybe a handful of other people. There is nothing wrong about being passionate about something that nobody else will ever know about. You can Tango by yourself and nobody will ever know (wait, what!?). Then, there are those things that open doors that you never expected. They make you unique or possibly give you leverage and opportunities. They “thicken” your personality.

“So you played Cleopatra for six months…so did the lady that auditioned before you”.

What makes you more interesting? What makes you different? What makes you someone I want to carry on a conversation with beyond your initial accomplishments or the list of achievements on a resume? These are all simple questions, but you need to know the answer to them if you are finding it difficult to get the job you want.

Life is speed dating.

You only have a few minutes to be memorable and good looks or the big accomplishments you would post on a resume will only get you so far. You want and need to be “sticky” and memorable. If you are devoting your existence solely on one thing (career) you may find that the lesser “qualified” people are getting the promotion (or in some instances, the date) because they are interesting and can offer experience or depth in areas beyond and not related to the job requirements.

In short, I now know more about my dear friend and perhaps we should all #Tryharder to embrace more things that could potentially give us added depth and at the same time balance in our life. It is never healthy to be boring and one dimensional and the little extra things that we add to our persona can certainly open doors we had no idea existed.