Hi Friends.

I have the ability to make deep and meaningful
connections with people within hours, sometimes minutes after meeting
them.  If this would be considered a
talent, then I guess I have this talent? 
I don’t know how it all started or what I do differently than others,
but some of my deepest relationships are with people that I have only logged a
few hours hanging out with in person. 
Some people can do other amazing things; I just know how to talk to
people.
My friends in college used to say that I could get
someone to tell me everything about themselves within 5 minutes after meeting
them. They would watch, as I systematically broke down the walls around a
person and got them to a level of vulnerability that allowed us to communicate
on a more personal and deeper level.  I’m
not going to lie; it certainly helped when I was dating.  The ability to get a girl’s phone number
before her friends returned from the bathroom was often important; as women
have a tendency to travel in packs and would often shield your attempts to get
to certain members of that pack. I assure you, it didn’t work all the time, but
I would wager that my technique worked better than most.  This also helped when you were the designated
wingman and needed to help your friends cut to the chase in the
conversation.  Hurry!  Her friends will be back any minute
now!!!  I’ve been married for almost 15
years, so I know it worked at least once! 
It all starts with you being real.  Opening up your “door” or removing
the walls around your personality and letting people see what you have to offer
in a relationship. Letting them see the depth you are willing to go to
communicate on a level below the surface of ice breaker questions and ego.  I’m not suggesting that you wear your heart
on your sleeve or immediately go to an uncomfortable place in the conversation
just to show the other person your willingness to share, but rather reveal
glimpses that there is more to you than what’s on the surface. You also cannot
force things into the conversation.  Just
the opposite actually. By drawing more from the other person, this will allow
you to share more of yourself without shoehorning your interest into the
conversation.  
You can’t just blurt out “I collect stamps and my
mom still does my laundry”. You gotta find a way to weave that into the
conversation naturally and not opportunistically force that information into
the discussion.  Also, you might want to
pick something else to share. Something that would give the impression that you
are NOT the next Unabomber.
Asking real questions and being genuinely interested in
the things that the other person is sharing certainly helps. I have never asked
anyone a list of stock questions that I have memorized over the years.  Even when interviewing celebrities for my
radio show, no two interviews have ever been alike.
You have to be engaging. You have to go into every
conversation seeking knowledge. Not just about the person, but about life and
the things that make others tick. A healthy curiosity is one thing, but to have
a real and vested interest in people and what turns them on or motivates them
is important. For example, I haven’t ridden a bike since I was a kid and have
no real personal interest in picking it back up, but I remember having
conversation with a man at a cocktail party about his passion for cycling. We
spoke for over an hour and it was one of the most educational impromptu
conversations I have ever had about any subject.  He was so passionate about it and just shared
how much it meant to him. I still have limited interest in the hobby myself,
but I can now confidently share my gained knowledge on the topic in any future
conversation that I might have about cycling. Just because it’s not for you,
doesn’t mean it’s a waste of time learning about it.
You can’t come on too strong or go into these
conversations with a desperate need to connect with others.  You can however take the information gained
from these conversations and use it to connect with others in the future. You
are adding to your overall “worldliness” and strengthening your
ability to communicate and forge stronger and deeper relationships.  The more you are interested in other people
and the things that motivate them, the more you will learn about yourself.  The more you learn about yourself, the easier
it will be to communicate on a deeper level with others.

Pick up a copy of the book here:
http://www.amazon.com/Pull-Trigger-Career-being-D-Bag/dp/1495466035/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1400269074&sr=1-1&keywords=pull+the+trigger

chasemradio

Radio Imagineer and host. Texan, Blogger, Author, Father of 2 awesome kids, husband to Christal and driver of a 1965 Chevy truck. Author of Pull The Trigger and #Tryharder.

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