My kids asked me to play blocks with them tonight.  My head has about 100 things going on in it, so the invitation of taking round, square, triangle and rectangle shapes and creating something seemed appealing. Besides, I have awesome kids, so I am into whatever they are into. 

Sometimes doing something that doesn’t require a lot of thought is needed when you have a lot on your mind. For me, sadly, the brain doesn’t shut off…unless I am drunk. That doesn’t happen too often. Being drink isn’t probably the best way to play blocks or Jenga. (I haven’t had anything to drink tonight in case anyone was wondering).

We are all born with the need to accomplish goals. It’s wired into our brain and there is not one person in this world that doesn’t try to accomplish something. Even the laziest of people have the goal of doing nothing.  Doing nothing is still something. That’s probably the easiest of goals, right? 

My daughter’s goal was to build the tallest tower possible out of the blocks available. My son’s goal was to destroy this tower as soon as it was finished.  He agreed to give us at least 3 seconds to admire the structure before he did his best Godzilla impression.   There is something to be said for the differences between young boys and girls. 

Goals can be both healthy and unhealthy. Constructive and destructive. Positive and negative.  Derived of love and hate.  No matter the driving force, we are all goal oriented. Doctors want to heal people and addicts want to score more crack. Both are goals right?  

There is a passage in my favorite Rudyard Kipling piece “If”.  

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;   

    If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;   

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

    And treat those two impostors just the same;   

You can be goal oriented and focused, but be conscious and emotionally sensitive enough to not let your dreams and goals be your master. You cannot let your focus or your limited sight keep you from seeing the world around you. Yes, take yourself and your goals seriously.  Treat them with the respect they deserve and never wane in your desire to grab them, but don’t allow them to own you. 

Own your dreams. 

What would have happened if my son wasn’t given the green light to destroy the block tower?  He had no other focus. He was owned by his desire to hear the pieces fall to the ground by a barrage of pushes and kicks.  Not allowing him or asking him to wait longer than 3 seconds would have resulted in anger or a lack of understanding. My son is funny, so he honestly would have taken great joy in the new challenge. He would have only tried harder, which is healthy, but his intention was to destroy!

What’s the number of people you know in life that have unhealthy goals?  Goals of self destruction are just as dangerous as allowing your healthy intentions own you. Losing 10 pounds is a great goal, but starving yourself or filling your body with chemicals isn’t the healthiest thing for you. Yet, people do it every day because they are owned by the goal.  Working out every day is terrific and it’s something I do to stay healthy, but making the gym your second home is the act of taking something healthy and turning it into an obsession. Nothing healthy about obsessions. 

Make goals attainable. Extremes are not attainable and they become unhealthy goals. These are pie in the sky dreams and not realistic. Chasing something impossible or something that doesn’t exist is certainly not productive and will only bring additional stress and disappointment. 

Start small.  Block by block.  Be realistic and keep your goals healthy.  Do not allow them to become unhealthy and own you.  Own your goals.

Just watch out for a 3 year old Godzilla.