I don’t believe in hazing. I never joined a frat.  If anything, I helped to create a parody of a frat when I was in college (long story).  I had plenty of friends in college and my perception of frats was more for others that felt the need to belong or individuals that had a hard time meeting others without some sort of formal structure.  I never saw the social allure of joining these groups or career advantages that possibly came with these organizations.  I am not judging those who did.  Different people need different things and to each their own.      

Hazing happens in aspects of our lives we never imagined and it happens daily. I have worked with people who were hell bent on hazing coworkers that have not been on the job as long as they have or were new to their work related social circles.  They used this lack of experience as an opportunity to feel superior and put themselves in a position of power (or false sense of power).  I have never felt that I am truly better than anyone nor do I perceive others to be better than me.  Everyone has something to learn and something to teach. 

There is something to be said for heritage and work experience, but these instances are more a case of working in different social circles; exposing their own insecurities and a need to feel more important than others.  Because others hazed THEM and put THEM through the wringer, they felt the need to pass this pain along to the next generation.  Outside of individuals with noble and positive intentions, too often people are hazed as a form of retaliation for something that was done to the “hazer” by someone else.  

I’m certainly not asking for a call to action against hazing or bullying.  People need to get kicked in the pants or put through some sort of strife in order to learn and progress in life and their career. I’m not so much into anti bullying as I am against people being douche bags.  Bullies actually serve a purpose.  D-bags are…well…d-bags.  I truly believe there is a difference and as a society we have confused the two in an effort to create a kinder and gentler world.  Bullies are what create underdogs and exciting story lines.  Sporting events, like life, are supposed to have an outcome and a winner.  Life shouldn’t be a tie.  Adversity is there to drive you to be better, stronger and allow you to see more of your potential.  Without someone pushing you and forcing you into situations where you are driven to dig deeper, you may never know what you are capable of.  Motivation comes in many forms. 

At some point you have to break the cycle. I don’t believe that people have to experience my same journey in order to gain my respect.  I have taken my bumps throughout the years, but that doesn’t mean that I have to do the same to others in order for them to learn the same life lessons. I would rather take the beating and share my knowledge than to deliver the same beating to someone else in hopes that they would learn the same lesson. Or worse, deliver the beating out of retaliation.  People don’t need a free ride, but in order to ensure the betterment of the next generation, we need to move beyond the faulty and possibly spiteful practices of yesterday.  Challenge yourself to be better.  Seek out new ways to pass along your knowledge and experience.  Understand and embrace new practices and have confidence in your ability to be more creative than the previous generation. 

You can’t get into the hall of fame unless the next generation votes you in.   Nobody votes for the d-bag.