This past weekend, we took a family trip to visit my wife’s half of the family.  We had a quick and easy hot dog and hamburger type dinner gathering.  Very informal.  Nothing fancy.  Even the beer was blue collar and obviously purchased by someone who doesn’t drink the stuff.  Beggars can’t be choosers I guess, but even hobos would probably pass on this college budget friendly beverage.  

The gathering took place at the house of my wife’s grandmother.  Everyone divvied up the responsibilities of the party so that “Nanna” could visit with everyone and not have to worry about grilling and hosting.   I don’t need to paint the picture anymore than this; we have all been to this party before.  

Since this wasn’t a Murphy family gathering, I took a step back from the duties and just kept an eye on my kids to make sure they didn’t wreck the place.  Like many of you, I like to read rooms and make mental notes of what is going on.  I don’t just do this at family reunions, I do this everywhere. At the reunion I got to witness chaos for the sake of chaos. 

This is when one or several people do things to look busy or act like they are contributing. When things get to a point of heightened anticipation, these people jump into action and stand near where the action is, as to be associated with the finale or the event about to take place.  These individuals feel a sense of accomplishment when they are able to contribute drama to a situation that doesn’t need drama.  As the burgers came off the grill,   I witnessed a relative frantically move a plate of sliced tomatoes 3 times.  The reason?  They have a need to contribute to the event and add something to the moment.  The tomatoes would have found themselves on top of the burgers eventually-regardless of where they were sitting on the counter. 

Moving from the condiment counter to everyday life, some people are so conditioned to the existence of drama in their life or career, that when it is absent, they miss it so much that they manufacture it and inject it into every situation. Ironically, I have found, that these same people are the biggest self proclaimed “drama haters”.  Funny how people hate the thing they preach so adamantly against.  How many stories have we heard about preachers or politicians who are so passionate about the striking down of the evil or crime that they are guiltiest of committing?  

I cannot tell you how many events that I have personally created or hosted over the years that others have tried to sabotage because they lack drama.  I am not freaking out and claiming that the sky is falling, so they are bothered and uneasy about the calmness and immediately feel the need to contribute by adding the chaos. At times, it’s actually quite comical. Knowing that you built the entire event from the ground up, bulletproofed, dictated the needs and created a timeline and checklist-only to watch the monkeys go crazy and look for poo to fling.  

You may have never noticed this before.  We have all been swept up in the chaos at some point and forget to step back and assess the situation before reacting.  We joined the mob of chaos and found ourselves flinging poo because we saw others doing it and assumed it to be the right thing to do.  Just remember, you don’t have to contribute for the sake of contributing.  Just because things don’t make sense to you at the moment, doesn’t mean you have to look busy.  Leave the tomatoes in one spot on the counter. If people want them, they’ll find them.  Grab a plate and a can of cheap beer and have a seat on the couch.